So this morning, on my cycling route into work, having stopped at a road works traffic light around Gray's Inn Road I notice Boris Johnson pulling up alongside me. He looks brilliant, suited and booted, hair wild in the breeze, properly, fantastically eccentric as always. He inches in front, then, when the coast looks clear, jumps the red light.

Sod this thought me and the 4 other cyclists in front of me - if an MP can do it, we can.

He then rides up onto the pavement whilst we continue forwards on the road... into a lane of fast moving traffic coming our way. He cruises away, up the pedestrian walkway, whilst we have to navigate furious rush hour motorists screaming abuse at us as we plough up their lane, dicing with death, shitting it.

The moral of this tale? Never, ever trust a fucking Tory.