I'm The Night Train, Ready To Crash And Burn, I'll Never Learn

We've all been there - caught short, having to crouch down or whip it out in a dark alleyway after departing the night bus at the wrong stop. Yes, toilet stops sometimes come upon us with no prior warning, just a wave of nausea and desperation like Renton in Trainspotting... that said, this dude seems to be taking things to another level. As part of our on going Honorary Socialists of 2006 survey, this guy is already coming in pretty high and we don't even know his name or his motive. And, let's face it, this story can only get better when it gets to court.

A strangled good attitude to the British Rail defecator...