Friday, November 23, 2007

Honorary Socialist - Paul Danan

Some are born great. Others have greatness thrust upon them. Such is the case with Paul Danan, who having had a role in (I think) Hollyoaks, made his name on Celebrity Love Island the other year, thanks to a string of late night altercations with his fellow zelebs brought on by one too many vodka cocktails (most memorable being his brutally accurate character assassinations of both Fran Cosgrove and Callum Best: “You’re Nothing!” ). Lately, Paul has sadly been out of the spotlight, with long term fans having to be content wit his starring role in Street Mate, where Paul turns up in provincial high streets and persuades a couple of local teens to go on a date whilst togged out in his best pastel rave wear. Outwardly friendly as he is, every inch of him (from the bleach blonde crop to the tips of his chequer-board Vans) screams that he is bored shitless out in the sticks, and will someone please get him back into town like, now – capeesh? All of which makes today’s news that he has been banned from performing in panto in (de)Preston after hurling out a torrent of enthusiastic abuse at a crowd of children and pensioners whilst turning on the town's Xmas lights. “Make some motherfucking noise!” berated Danan of the baffled crowd of pram-pushing mums and aging Christmas shoppers, clearly sozzled out of his box from five hours tucking into the hotel mini-bar. Mate, we’re with you all the way. Who needs four weeks as the lead player in Gak and the Beans Talk? Hope to see you back in civilisation soon.