Thursday, April 19, 2007

Keith - the debate rages...

So the most dim-witted member of arguably the most musically laughable band on the planet has decied to slag off Keith Richards for his latest dad-snorting revelations. Tell NBC to cancel the West Virginia massace coverage and alert the New Yorker!

The cultural impact, of course, has been the equivalent of a minature fly crashing into the Post Office Tower (which, yes, is in London). How sad and desperately parochial. Sad sassenagh hating retard, who never got over the fact his country was over-run in the year 600 by, probably, similar ‘unlikeable, London pirate-like arseholes’. What are the chances these dismal orcs once begged for a Stones support in Slovenia and were turned down because Maximo Park offered more money? Still, the first National Express coach back to nowheresville awaits.

Toodle pip, old boy, as Keith would say, solid silver coke spoon in hand…..

From yesterday's CMU Daily mailout...

Talking of Rolling Stones, Mogwai's Barry Burns has been sharing his thoughts on Keith Richards and recent reports, since denied, that the guitarist had snorted his father's ashes.

In a post on Mogwai's official website entitled 'Keith please cease breathing' Burns wrote: "Hi everyone. I just woke up to find that average blues guitar pedlar and all round unlikeable London pirate-like arsehole Keith Richards snorted his dad's ashes on a drug binge. Well done Keith, you talentless publicity hungry horrible prick of the highest order. He then goes on to say modern bands are a load of old crap. Right, but can we really listen to the opinions of a nasal cannibal?"

He continues: "Keith, your band are possibly the worst band in the history of human events, worse even than Placebo and The Reynolds Girls combined. Your posh English singer sings with an American accent about a load of old American prostitutes he met once and your guitar licks are Grade F. The sooner you die the quicker my Ladbrokes bet comes in between you and McCartney you old dick. I hope you kick the bucket in the most humiliating of ways, like on the toilet and then being eaten by your own dog. Stop living and give us peace you attention seeking non relevant oxygen thief".