Today was great. I made so many new friends. Romeo Sims offered me ‘Zero clip’. Gwendoline Boucher informed me of her mood (‘immensely dejectedly’). Adrian Beasley turned me on to ‘Biscuit airwaves’. Freda Hampton let slip about ‘the Noun Dwarves’ (where are they playing?) Moses Morton simply stated: ’Backgammon’? Why not?! All of these new pals appeared, uninvited, in my Yahoo messages this morning. Which begs the question - do they exist? If not, then who is the surrealist spymaster conjuring up this fascinating vortex of possibilities?
A quick straw poll of friends and colleagues revealed that none of them had heard from Gwendoline, Moses or Romeo and never had done. Had I been targeted by an elite band of e-intellectuals, eager and willing to lead me towards enlightenment - a modern day Bloomsbury Set with their eyes on the cyber-prize? Or was I merely an unwitting fool guy in some sick in-box hoax? Are Gwendoline and Freda, as we speak, sewing together home-made t-shirts for The Noun Dwarves first gig, in front of a vast web-crowd including Sebastian Lake, Dirk Silence and Ahmad Rogers? Or are they merely random arrangements of vowels and consonants being churned out by an uber-computer deep in Silicon Valley? I’m serious. Does anyone know who the fuck these people are(n’t)?